15 GREAT WAYS TO SNEAK BOOZE INTO THE JAY-Z & BEYONCE "ON THE RUN TOUR" TONIGHT


Half the fun of watching a football game is trying to figure out how to get your drink on. Even if you try to booze up from morning until game time, once half time hits, you’ll presumably be sober again, which pretty much sucks. Plus, you’ll most likely be left with horrible alcohol breath and a massive headache in the end. FUN! To ensure that this doesn’t happen, here are a few tried and tested ways to sneak alcohol into a football game:


1. DUCT-TAPE FLASK TO BODY


Flasks are probably the easiest tool you can use to sneak in your booze. Not to mention that taping it close to the family jewels will make it less likely to be found. Plus you can be sure security doesn’t get paid half as much as your urologist. And unless they swing that way, I highly doubt they’ll want to go anywhere near your goods. So tape away! You might want to shave first though, unless you want to get a very unpleasant “wax” at the same time.


2. IFLASK

I’m pretty sure this was not a Steve Jobs invention. But nonetheless, it is still very innovative in it’s own way. This contraption will not only make you seem technologically up to date, but it can hold up to 5 ounces of your preferred poison. iCool!



3. BINOCULAR FLASK

If you don’t really care to watch the game up close, then this is the contraption for you. You may not actually see the game, but at least if you’re drunk enough, you can imagine the outcome you hope for. Hell, you can even be the star quarterback if you want. It brings Fantasy Football to a whole new level!

4. UMBRELLA FLASKS

Here’s an apparatus that will make you pray for rain on game day for once. Not only will it keep you dry, all the booze you consume will warm you up at the same time! Plus no one will even bother to question you when you bring it in. That’s a win-win situation if you ask me!

5. FLASK TAMPON

Women always complain when Aunt Flo comes visiting. But this is certainly one way you won’t be hearing any whining. Pack a few of these babies into your female cohorts bag and you should be good to go. In case you get stopped by the stadium’s security, you don’t even have to flinch. No man in his right mind would ever want to go near them, ever.

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